Rewind back about 2 years ago, and I probably would say I was at my lowest, with health issues (that you don’t want to deal with when you’re only 22) and my anxiety at an all time high. Having to take a lot of time off work and Uni just to get myself better, it’s safe to say it knocked me for six and it has taken me a while to get myself back to the happy Beth prior to all this.
Every student or ex student out there will know that as much as the student lifestyle can be great and the best time of your life, it’s also so bloody stressful. I had a job alongside my studying, and actually used to think of going to work as a day off and this would be when I could relax for a bit, which is so backwards! Mix this with an agonising illness and then you can about understand where I was at. Four months off work and missing a LOT of school and just generally not a happy bear!
Anyway….fast forward to me right now, sitting in Costa having my usual Iced Mocha, waiting for my Mama so we can do a spot of shopping, less than a week to go before I start my new job, a birthday weekend not to forget, new car, new house, the best friends I could ask for and my gorgeous boy, I can say that things are pretty damn good. If you had told me all this 2 years ago, I would have pointed you in the direction of the door and told you to bugger off!
I am a creature of habit, MASSIVELY! I hate change, even if it’s just going a different way home, or putting my makeup on differently, I just hate it, it makes me anxious, so I thought having a change would be the last thing that would make me feel better. However it’s been the best thing in the world for me right now. And I’m not just talking about items, but relationships too! You are the company you keep, surrounding yourself with happiness and positive energy can make you are completely different person! (as I have found out recently) girl on girl crime is spreading around our society at the moment like wild fire, when really we should be inspiring each other to be the best we can possibly be. Confidence is key! If someone can make you feel less than you are, and make you cry, then it might not be best to have them in your life? It’s up to you to change this! Have the confidence to walk away. My conversations with my best friends are uplifting, exciting, and enjoyable. It’s not hours of bashing someone else’s character and laughing at someone else’s expense, this can only deflate you as a human being.
!new home, new car and new job!
Three massive changes, however the new car could have waited, but why should it? My ride is bitchin’ mannnnnn, and it makes me feel good. Moving house was a big deal for me, I loved living with my Daddy, in the home I was brought up in, with my familiar items and that precious feeling of home, but I can’t live there forever (can I?) So when Cal and I set out to look for our own little place, I knew that it had to be right, or I wouldn’t be happy. Once moved in, and a week of sleepless nights and getting over the initial shock of change, it’s now my little haven, and I couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful home, and of course the fact that I’m with my darling just makes it more perfect.
I don’t know anyone that loves to get up in a morning, prepared for a day grafting at work, however there is something so important about that consistency and showing off your skills to the world, I’ve worked since being 15 years old when I was a junior at Freestylers barbers, sweeping and washing hair, from working in a Bakery, Estate Agents, a Bank, CLEANING offices! and then my precious Grace and Flavour. So I’m not one for sitting around on my bum all day, so it came as a surprise to me when I had finished working and studying and actually had nothing to do. I can’t talk for anyone else, but there was a stage when I was looking for work (after coming back from NYC) and I wasn’t having any luck, felt worthless and like my degree was going to waste. Anyway, after a few interviews (which were all successful) I’ve found a great job, with great people, which evidently made me so proud of myself, not a feeling that I’ve experienced before.
Anyway, enough of me rambling on about myself (as per) my point was to tell fellow none changers who hate change as much as me, that sometimes that’s the best thing you can do for yourself and it’s not as daunting as you may think.
Postive changes, equals a happy soul, which makes a happy girl 💁🏼
Till next time.