NO WHERE does it say that the best way to move on with your life is to hide the past under a carpet, ignore it and run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.
You have to deal with the past, in order to get over it and move on with your life.
You can read all the self help books in the world regarding, anxiety, depression, past mistakes, eating disorders, etc etc. But reading a book in bed, over and over again, isn’t going to solve anything.
I love reading; novels, self help books and Vogue as much as the next person. But remember, those books/magazines are read by millions, and aren’t necessarily suited to every individual.
I feel the need to talk about this right now more than I have ever wanted to before, due to circumstances that have recently happened to me. Many people can think that bloggers divulge too much information about their personal life. I’m not going to tell you information like medication I could be on, or when I last went for a wee. But real stuff, that people are also going through, if it only helps one person, then at least I’ve made some sort of difference.
I never saw a friendship breaking down to be such a dramatic change in your life, but it really is. Not only because of the initial ‘falling out’ but because of the relisation that maybe you or the other person aren’t the same people anymore, to when you first met. And this is something that I have struggled to come to terms with.
You go through an array of emotions from denial, to anger, and everything in between. The days of being extremely sad, or the times where you have to literally stop yourself from posting some indirect comment on social media.
Through-out this time my anxiety was at an all time high, I deleted social media for a few months to protect myself from getting upset about anything I would see, I went through a time of blaming myself for being a bad friend, it was all I could talk about, so I then went through a stage of massive paranoia thinking that people were getting annoyed at me for talking to about it much, this then lead to me not talking about it at all, and not dealing with it.
BUT every cloud has a silver lining.
Time is the BIGGEST healer, in time I learned that I had to deal with it in order to accept it and move on.
Blogging became a big part of my life, other friendships began to blossom, which were on a completely different level to the ones I had before, I began to like myself again, I realised that hiding from social media isn’t going to solve anything. And I did all this without reading a bloody book on how to do it. And with all this, I feel like I haven’t even changed that much, I’m still the sensitive girl I was before, I still adore Taylor Swift, I still have moments where I need to rant about something in order to let it go which doesn’t have to be defined as ‘bitching’. I don’t look down at those people I’m no longer friends with, it’s just purely a clash in personalities. It doesn’t make them any better than me, or vise versa.
My advice to anyone who wants it, is to do what you as an individual needs to do in order to help yourself. A book isn’t going to help you, medication isn’t going to help you, and moving to Timbuktu……guess what…..ISN’T GOING TO HELP YOU.
If you have tips for myself or others that might be helpful then tweet me here 🙂
Till next time