Something I’ve learned recently is that it takes a lot more energy to hold a grudge than just to let it go.
People, situations and certain topics stay on my mind for ages after they’ve happened, I wish they would teach you at school some lifestyle skills like holding on to something that happened years ago really isn’t going to make you feel any better about it. Really what we should do is maybe have a day or two being slightly pissed off and then get over it.
I don’t know what it is but I feel as though I sometimes get the brunt of peoples anger or upset, or feel as though I may be the joke at someone’s expense. And when this happens, it can linger with me for months on end, possibly even years. All that has ever done has made me feel even worse. What I should be doing is dealing with it or just forgetting about it.
Unfortunately people in our lifetime are going to hurt us by doing and saying things without a filter which can make us resent them.
1/ Talk it out and then put it under the rug and let it goooooooooo
You could go on for hours talking about what someone has done to you, you can talk about it till your black and blue, but all this does is wind you up more. So the best thing to do is have a little discussion about it with someone you trust, or the person who has upset you. Talk it out, gain some closure. And then put it to bed.
2/ Forgive but don’t forget
This may seem as though I am contradicting everything I’ve just said, but what I mean by this is that you should be a forgiving person, it does yourself so much good HOWEVER don’t be a doormat that people think that they can hurt and use all the time. Have some ‘UGHHH’ about yourself. It will give the respect you deserve. Something in which I am trying so hard to do.
This doesn’t work for a lot of people, me being one of them. It’s so hard to ignore something that hurts you. But sometimes reacting in a certain way can spur people on more. So just doing a bit of a hair flick and not even pondering about it is the best way to deal with it.
Last but not certainly not least..
4/ Remove yourself
Not many of us want to just cut people out of our life and to be honest sometimes you have no choice for them to be in it whether you like it or not. But if you can? And if these people are making you doubt your self worth? Then walk away. Don’t give them the opportunity to hurt you.
Whatever you do, don’t sink to their level, there is no reasoning with someone who is unreasonable, they’ll end up beating you with the experience they have.
right, I just need to practice what I preach now